20 days. & possible fellow mia?

in 20 days, i become a legal adult.
adults don't throw up. that's my new philosophy.
ok, i know it's crap. there are tones of you out there who do, more so than the amount under 18, but my thought process is that i will make it a goal, to not in my adult life (regularly) purge. therefore i have a date, there is no i'll re-start tomorrow junk. no, it happens then.
for now, i'm purging tones, eating even more.
too much awfulness has happened in food & in life, i just want it to be all over.

i'm never excited about my birthdays, haven't really celebrated one in years. (unless you count my tradition of each year buying & eating an entire pumpkin pie & tub of cool whip by myself.)
but this time i'll be an adult.
i mean, there's a federal election in may, how can i be expected to make a sane decision on who should run my country when i can't make a sane decision on my food.
no. this time will be different.

another difference: i'll actually post.
i mostly don't want to talk about my life right now, because i don't want to dwell. i just want everything to be behind me. i have to coast through the next twenty days. then i'll be (slightly) better.

next order of business;
a sort of acquaintance friend-of-a-friend, well i think she might be bulimic too.
at first, well she passed out in school right next to my locker. this horrible sick thought (after hoping she was ok) desperately wished she had an ED too. i mean, i am a sick horrible twisted being if i thought that right? but that's just how lonely i am. i have no one to talk to, & posting here less & less, i feel so isolated in my real life.
i sort of attempted to hint at her later, just txting to see if she was all right, asking her if the hospital figured out what was wrong. she just said she was fine & that they figured stress. i told her that she could talk to me anytime yada yada. week or so has gone by.
i think i must be hallucinating because today i totally saw a little brown scab thing on her knuckle very similar
 to the one i have on the back of my hand. i'll do much more investigation tomorrow, but then what do i do?
does anyone have any possible advice on how to approach someone they think also has an ED?

* note: i do read pretty much every post (i'm following a gabillion people so sometimes it's difficult) & i often will use google reader to read maybe three posts at a time. this means that i'm awful at commenting because 1. well i rarely know what to say anyways, & 2. because my computer is incredibly slow & commenting is almost painful. but, i do read.

comment time.
Alicja well as always, wow. you're so kind & strong, & i'm so glad you're finally getting the emotional support you deserve from your mom, & i hope so much that it helps you through recovering at least from your depression & self injury. you know what? food sucks. i hate food. it's dumb. there, i've summarized my emotions towards what it makes me feel. & i thank you so much because your support truly does mean a lot to me.
Sous le Sourire i love your blog & am so honored that you would give me an award! i hope you don't mind that i would rather hold off on posting it until i'm back in the swing of things? you're amazing too! thank you!
ruunes i know, there are so many horrible side effects of binging. i've recently been doing a lot of research into if & will hopefully soon post what i've learned. much of it's quite gruesome though. thank you.
Elemi omgoodness i never knew i had any sort of impact like that on someone. i'm so glad something i wrote could encourage a person so much & i am so inspired to do better knowing that i could somehow help. thank you so much, & you're right;

i consume food - it can't consume me.

staystrong, page.