i'm so stressed out, which just triggers me more, to binge & purge & procrastinate on life.
only making me more stressed out.
how can i have an eating disorder & not be loosing weight?
therefore i must not have one, i must be fine.
then why can't i stop throwing up?
i was alone for an entire week, a week to rejuvenate & heal myself, free from stress.
i just kept binging & purging.
every afternoon i binge & purge.everything's going wrong.
every evening i wish i hadn't.
every night i make a promise to tomorrow,
to do better & make up for my mistakes.
every day i fail again.
can anyone help me?
you do have an ed, but having an ed does not mean loosing weight. when you feel like a binge go out, go for a run, go see some friends, have a walk in the park, grap a book, sit down in a cosy coffee shop, just get out of lonelyness. it worked for me. have not binged+purged for 3 weeks now and i don't even feel like it anymore, though i'm still on the watch, it might just come back. when i get those cravings i do what i just told you or i call somebody or sit down and write an long e-mail to somebody i lost contact with while i was obsessed with loosing weight.
ReplyDeletei'm sure you can get out of this. the strangest thing is when you realise for the first time that you actually ate something containing calories without having a bad conscience about it. i remember the warm feeling that spread in every little bit of my body, the feeling that everything is going to be alright again...
Nothing lasts forever. One of these days you will stop. We all make mistakes, but each mistake you own up to makes you stronger, so that you WILL succeed. <3
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