i suck.
i'm sorry.
i'm going to do a quick catch up of life, only the few things that will affect the future & won't make you depressed too.i'm sorry.
depression. there's the first thing. it got worse.
then i got kicked out. (back now.)
i also broke up with green; who's depressed & suicidal too.
those are really the three things.
but then there's the eating things.
i'm / was veryveryvery bulimic.
but not a very good one. i ate more, & threw up most of it.
unfortunately i've been eating so much that the less than half of it that stayed in me still made me gain weight.
a lot of weight.i was working close to a grocery store & dinner, & depressed.
in one weekend me & lucy spent 80$ on food.
(i have pictures of our grocery trips.)
multiple buckets of icecream were bought.
i have keys to this one stall sketchy washroom behind the auditorium which became by best friend since i was in it purging every twenty minutes.
green's driving me mad.
being with him,
being without him.
i eat through it all.
as of last night i think we're never going to be together again.
i get it, i broke up with him. my fault. i don't regret it.
i never saw him. he never wanted to talk to me.
we we're more than friends physicaly, but less than friends emotionaly.
i never had sex with him though. glad i didn't.
i know it was for the best, & that it would be worse if i hadn't, but i still miss him.
it's been a couple of weeks.
ramble ramble ramble. im sorry for boring sappyness.
last exam was yesterday.
i've been a failure at school this last term. nowhere will take me unless i'm perfict next year. better than i've ever done.
mark check is thursday, im a little frightend.
i might not go.
I WILL POST MORE.
i will go back to counting calories.
(it's been to difficult to follow since i usually passed the 3000's before dinner. eww.)
one of the suckiest parts of slipping off?
not reading blogs!!
i miss you guys!
it'll be horendous if i try to read through the last few weeks i've missed so i'll just try & breeze through.
sorry again for not reading.
what i really need is a good restriction/fasting partiner.
someone who will go with me back on track to ana. i've missed her.
(mia streched my stomich.)
any takers?
glad to be here.
summer's begining.
staystrong, i've missed you.
page.
you're finally back! definitely missed you :)
ReplyDeletei'm sorry that you're not feeling any better. The breakup probably isn't helping with that. You are really strong to be able to deal with this all at once.
i would love love to be bffs with ana for once. i will try my best to keep up with you, however i am a fat ass.
wooaah rollercoaster. I know what that feels like. I, too, have recently given up on mia. I was feeling way too much pressure because of moving and finally ending high-school. Restriction/fasting partner available right here any time:). Let me know:).
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your post. It can be extremely difficult dealing with troubled teens.I’ve found that Silver Hill Hospital’s
ReplyDeleteadolescent psychiatric treatment family therapy and group sessions can be very helpful in moving forward towards recovery. It helped us examine our family’s issues in a safe and therapeutic environment.