dizzy.

today i wake up. feeling tired, whatever. shower. get ready, i've got school.
out of the shower, i'm dizzy. seriously dizzy. light-headed, the works. ok, i'm gonna go pass out now, find a comfortable position.
.. twenty minutes or so later.
the phone rings, try & reach it.
viv: "hey, you want a ride?"
"thanks hun, but today i'm not doing to well.."
find mother; alert her to the fact that i'm not going to school again. then go sleep it off.
somewhere in there i was told that i have a doctors appointment in four hours. i don't know if that means 11am, or 5pm..
whatever, can't move.
when i do eventually wake up; "eat something" is what i'm told will make me better.
the room in spinning - i'll pass.
so i go to weigh myself, something i've been planning to do putting off for days.
its one of those incredibly old scales (older than me) where you have to stand still and look at where the arrow is pointing, then read the tiny number before you flinch & it moves again. i'm still dizzy. - i have to crouch down to read it.
103lbs
well lies, my scale is broken.
i've binged for the last three days, the calories haven't kicked in yet.
& when i say binged, i'm mean the binged kind of binged where i top over 3500 calories for three consecutive days.
so yeah, my scale is broken,
[off to doctor number one.]
blood pressure's low - heart racing.
"sit for a few days, it might pass on it's own, but go get this test;(some acronym i can't remember) anyways. "
off to doctor number two.
i go. i have to take my shirt off for these little electrode things to be placed all over me. cringe
i learned something; these doctors are trained to be impersonal when your shirtless, can't look you in the eye, use any emotion in their voice. it's supposed to make people more comfortable, so it's not like there's another person in the room with you, just some emotionless robot.
it freaked me out.
after they fidgeted with my position for half an hour, i was told the machine wasn't working. come back another day.

i'm going to school tomorrow, i'm determined to.

boys still suck; they've made me confused.

grocery shopping.

today was a lovely little 718.
could have done better.

i might just survive.
not sure that i want to.